dorothy parker x death

"Résumé" - Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

The great wit Dorothy Parker attempted suicide several times. 

After one attempt, her buddy Robert Benchley, another celebrated wit, told her: "Dottie, if you don't stop this sort of thing, you'll make yourself sick."

Another time, she was told by a doctor that if she didn't stop drinking, she'd die within the month. "Promises, promises," she replied.